by Sage Nestler, MSW

I recently discovered AZUL - a queer, Argentinian immigrant musician based in North Carolina - and haven’t been able to stop listening to her new album, Death, Love & Disco since. We had the pleasure of sitting down for a chat, and she shared with me such incredible insight and passion.

Her music has impacted me on a deep level, and I am sure that it will do the same for you.

*Image from:* *https://www.azulzapata.com/*

During our discussion, AZUL told me how when the pandemic hit, she couldn’t go out to dance with her friends and community or go to music venues – which was a big part of her life.

So, she dove deep into her music.

She spent a lot of time researching disco and talked about how disco is essentially a genre of sad songs sped up. This played a big part in the creation of her new album.

AZUL wanted to create musical worlds utilizing real instruments, and have primarily people of color, queer, and femme musicians involved in the creation of the album.

Making music with her friends and community is very important to her, and it shines through in her music. She plays the trumpet and various brass instruments, which she integrates into her songs. Her friend Rhiannon plays the saxophone and is featured throughout AZUL’s music.

Harmonization with a saxophone is something that she mentioned was something she wanted to highlight, and it adds a jazzy touch to so many of her songs.

As a person with chronic depression and ADHD, AZUL puts a lot of her experiences with mental health into her songs. She talked about how she takes medication and explained that it is essentially like “putting her glasses on in the morning.”

This was such a beautiful way to normalize taking medication for mental health – which I also advocate for since I am on multiple medications myself.

AZUL was open about how before taking medication she felt as though she was under water up to her chin. We discussed how when she started to work on her mental health and herself, she had to change her relationships – which incorporated removing or changing relationships that took energy out of her.

A sentiment she shared that I thought was very powerful is that “hope is practice” and that it “takes a lot of energy to make beauty last.” This is a daily and ongoing process, and “nothing beautiful lasts without work.”

Putting her energy into music, creativity, and other forms of art are ways that AZUL continues to work on this. She mentioned how creating beauty and putting it out into the world is something that she does, and we can do, to create everlasting light.

AZUL mentioned how we can see the light of stars that have burned out long ago, but their light lives on.

Creating art in any form is a way that we all can create everlasting light – while channeling the fear, sadness, rage, and other emotions into these creations can be a release.

AZUL’s song “Stress dreams” is related to her experience with sleep paralysis and being an anxious sleeper, while her song “Magic” is a message to keep going, because even though it isn’t easy, it’s worth it.

Her song “I Did It,” is a message of feeling like you aren’t going to make it to a certain age, but continue on, and it had me in tears. I have listened to it more times than I can count.

AZUL showed me some of her art projects (including an incredible disco mannequin leg) and how channeling that creativity has helped her mental health and cope with the times we are living in.

When asked about her process with music, AZUL said that when she is writing a song, she can’t stop and focuses obsessively on it.

I asked which song of hers is her favorite, and she said that honestly, “her favorite song that she has made is one she hasn’t released yet.” She expanded by mentioning that when she is writing a song it feels like it belongs to her, but when she releases it, it feels like “it is no longer hers.”

I resonated with this as a writer and artist myself.

However, AZUL said that she hopes that when people listen to her music, they will see her but also see themselves.

She described herself as still feeling like the “gay kid who wants to be friends with everybody,” and hope that she projects that. She experienced a lot of bullying growing up – especially as an immigrant and moving around a lot.

AZUL is a self-proclaimed weirdo and has said that she has never been “cool a day in her life.” This is something that I think a lot of us queer folx relate to, which shows how much we need each other.

When asked about her influences, AZUL listed off an extensive list. Since she is originally from Argentina, she has been influenced by Argentine folk music, psychedelic, and Latin rock, which was further impacted by her discovery of such artists as Celine Dion and Whitney Houston with their powerhouse vocals early on. She loves artists such as Prince, Ricky Martin, Tina Turner, Cher, Florence + the Machine, Dolly Parton, Billy Holiday and others who “used/use their voices as instruments.”

AZUL has a brother who is also queer and growing up they would belt out songs together.

She said that she is thankful that her parents didn’t put rules on what they could listen to, and that she is most passionate about female/femme-led artists. Seeing live artists of all kinds, including drag queens, have inspired her performances. AZUL considers herself to be the “millennial Chappell Roan.”

Instead of defining her music under any genre, she said that if she had to say what her genre is, it’s just “emotional,” which made us both laugh.

Upon the release of her EP, AZUL had a listening party where she had drag queens perform each of her songs. She loved how one queen interpreted her song “Lies” to portray her experience of being a trans person whose lover showed them care behind closed doors but not in public.

The queen interpreted the song as a way to ask their lover to lie to her that they love her – which was extremely emotional.

As an immigrant and discussing current events, AZUL said that even when she and her family became citizens, the fear they experienced didn’t go away. Her parents raised her to be fastidious about safety.

With a laugh, AZUL mentioned how when she was younger, on her report card her teacher had said that she had a “disdain for authority” which hasn’t changed. She is never afraid to speak up and out. She always speaks her mind.

As for AZUL’s immigrant community, she said that they experience hypervigilance but lean on each other for strength. She also mentioned how despite the fear, anger, sadness, and other emotions – they always find something to laugh at.

AZUL also mentioned that these feelings of sadness or fear are not new.

Community is everything, which she emphasized. Connection is how we can hold each other up and give each other light and hope by sharing it with each other when some of us aren’t able to hold that light and hope on our own.

AZUL is currently touring in North Carolina and has more upcoming tour schedules that will be announced soon. Her music can be found on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube, and other platforms.